plz talk dirty to me
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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