I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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