I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
