Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
