I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
