i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
