...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
