he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
