Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
