I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
