just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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