I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
