haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she told me i tasted like america
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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