2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
do nipples grow back?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
