3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
