I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
