somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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