we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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