Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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