im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
ttyl tear gas
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
