Don't you send me to vm
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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