its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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