In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
