We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
COCAINE IS GR8
i believe in u and ur pee
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