Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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