I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
