I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
