she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
