we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
