I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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