the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
