I hate your face
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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