No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
