Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
