I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He felt like a one man threesome
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
