so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
