Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
COCAINE IS GR8
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
