Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
