At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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