there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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