belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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