My entire life is one complicated drinking game
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
