I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
