soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
