Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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