But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
