that's an acceptable place to lick
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
