If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
