Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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