like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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