WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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