Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
